Teachers are often expected to pour themselves into their jobs鈥攖o work long hours, to put up with disrespect, and to meet all of students鈥� social-emotional needs, as well as their academic ones.
It鈥檚 too much, says Jherine Wilkerson, an 8th grade English/language arts teacher in Peachtree City, Ga., who recently wrote an essay for 91制片厂视频 Week titled, 鈥淚 Don鈥檛 Have to Love My Students to Be a Good Teacher.鈥� In that opinion essay, she argued that teaching is a job like any other, and she shouldn鈥檛 have to forego professional boundaries to do good work.
The piece . Many agreed with Wilkerson鈥檚 premise, saying that these expectations can lead to burnout. Others argued that students learn better when they know they鈥檙e loved, and that loving the job keeps teachers going through all the hard parts.
Wilkerson spoke to 91制片厂视频 Week about the response to her essay, society鈥檚 perception of teaching, and why she hates the phrase, 鈥渢eaching isn鈥檛 a job, it鈥檚 a calling.鈥� The interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Your piece resonated with so many teachers, but there were also some comments from teachers who felt uncomfortable with your concept. What were your thoughts on the reaction to your essay?
What I said in it isn鈥檛 really something that I haven鈥檛 heard other teachers say, so it鈥檚 surprising to see how many people said that they鈥檝e been wanting someone to say it. And I was really interested in the people who were offended, like it was so inconceivable that any teacher isn鈥檛 dreaming about going to work the next morning.
I鈥檓 very pleased [about the response], and I guess kind of hopeful that maybe more teachers will start actually speaking [for themselves] instead of just being talked about.
How does this mindset that teachers should love their students translate into expectations put on teachers?
First, there鈥檚 a push to pretend the pandemic did not take place, and you keep hearing, 鈥淲e鈥檙e going to get back to normal.鈥� But a part of what normal was never really worked. We have kids who do have a lot of needs that teachers aren鈥檛 equipped to meet. We have kids who have emotional needs, and the expectation is鈥攁 kid comes in your class, they have a lot of stuff going on, and they completely cuss you out. It鈥檚 like, 鈥淭hat鈥檚 just Johnny!鈥� And you鈥檙e to move forward. You have a lot of parents whose expectation is that you are not only teaching their kids, but you鈥檙e raising their kids. We are not to ask questions, but more than that, we are not to have real expectations for the kids. The expectations are for us. For me, it feels more and more like a situation where I can鈥檛 win.
I鈥檓 not a naturally affable person. I鈥檓 very direct. When I鈥檓 in my classroom, I get along with my kids very well, but I鈥檓 their teacher. I consider that my profession, and it is not who I am. At school, I鈥檓 a teacher. At home, I鈥檓 myself, I鈥檓 Jherine. I think that it should be OK that those two don鈥檛 connect, but I find that more and more, a large part of teaching is, do my kids like me? Not whether or not I鈥檓 a good teacher, but do they like you? If they don鈥檛 like you, then there鈥檚 a problem.
You wrote in your essay that these expectations were even coming from your principal.
Yes. We have lots of conversations because I鈥檓 always asking questions about things that for me, on a personal level, are just very hard to get behind. We have kids who have a lot of needs, and we鈥檙e not necessarily meeting those needs, and they鈥檙e just being moved [along]. One of the questions that I鈥檓 asking is, why can鈥檛 we have clear expectations? And [the answer] is, 鈥淚f you love the kids, you鈥檒l do this.鈥�
What I hear a lot is, 鈥渢hink about the why"鈥攁s if any of us have forgotten鈥攁nd 鈥渓ove what you do.鈥� I think that blurs the line because when you ask someone to love what they do, what you鈥檙e really asking, especially of teachers, is that you don鈥檛 question what you do.
Why should we have to take our work home? Why do we have to sit and have a parent cuss us out? Why are we the only ones responsible for this kid鈥檚 social and emotional well-being? It鈥檚 always, 鈥淲ell, because teaching is a work of [the] heart.鈥� Well, teaching is a profession that you go to school for. You don鈥檛 just wake up and say, 鈥淚鈥檓 going to be a teacher today.鈥� There鈥檚 this intentional devaluation of education and real anti-intellectualism that has caused people to believe that what we do is something that they can also do, and what we do doesn鈥檛 matter.
And because what we do doesn鈥檛 matter, all you [need] to do [the job] well is heart. And if you don鈥檛 have the heart, you鈥檙e not going to do it well. But it鈥檚 a job. ... People say love [your students]. That鈥檚 not what they mean. You may care for your kids. I care for my kids, too, but it鈥檚 my job. When I go home, I love my kids. I love my home. I love my family. When I go back to work, I鈥檓 there because I get paid to do it. And if I weren鈥檛 paid to do it, I wouldn鈥檛 go.
Research shows that student-teacher relationships matter for student success. How do you balance building a caring, positive relationship with students without feeling obligated to love them?
I have a relationship with my doctor. She knows more about my physiology than anybody does. I think that she cares about me as a patient, in her role, but I don鈥檛 need her to do more than that. And I wouldn鈥檛 expect that. As a teacher, I care about my students as far as, are they learning? I think that the need for students to have their teachers love them has been overstated. Sometimes kids are not going to vibe with their teachers, but they can still learn from them because that鈥檚 the goal. The goal is not to make a friend. The goal is to learn and to learn how to learn.
You point out in your essay that teaching is a female-dominated profession, and that might be why we expect teachers to be so nurturing. Could you talk more about that?
Socially, the expectation is that you are a teacher because you鈥檙e a woman, and because this is your role. And if you chose to become a teacher, it鈥檚 because you have a nurturing instinct. That idea, I don鈥檛 know where it comes from. Perhaps it is because teaching has not necessarily grown as a profession in the way that other professions have. It has not gained the same type of respect. It鈥檚 seen as a very nurturing profession in a way that I would say is detrimental to the profession.
We have more male principals and more males at the top, than we probably should, statistically. But in the classrooms, we鈥檙e women. [Editor鈥檚 note: Federal data show that nearly 77 percent of teachers and a little over half of principals are female. Only about a quarter of superintendents are female.] I would say that if teaching were more male-dominated, we wouldn鈥檛 hear the same conversations. People wouldn鈥檛 talk about it as something that anyone can do. And they certainly wouldn鈥檛 talk about it as something that you shouldn鈥檛 get paid to do, something that you should do because you love it.
I was going to ask about phrases like, 鈥渢eaching is not a job, it鈥檚 a calling,鈥� which you hear so much, even from other teachers. What do you make of that?
I hate it, because teaching is not a calling for me. ... It was a choice. When you consider something a calling, I think it really diminishes the work that you put into it. Because when you hear a call, you answer that call whether or not you receive anything from it. ... It kind of creates this really weird relationship where if you鈥檙e a teacher, you answered that call, and you knew that you might have to sacrifice for it because you鈥檝e been called for it. You might have to sacrifice your body, your time, the time of your loved ones.
The phrase, I think, should be removed because if you stop calling teaching a calling, then maybe you鈥檒l stop thinking of it as a calling. It鈥檚 a real profession. You鈥檙e not called to do it. You choose to do it. You made a choice to go through school. For me, I made a choice to take out student loans, and calling had nothing to do with it.
What do you think school leaders or policymakers can do to make teaching a more respected and professionalized profession?
I think that if school leaders and policymakers truly cared about the voices of teachers, they鈥檇 step back. Teachers should be at the table, and the table should be comprised primarily of teachers. Teachers should not be an afterthought because we are the closest to the students.
You鈥檙e going to get students no matter what, they have to go [to school]. But if you lose your teachers, we鈥檒l never be on top anywhere in education. What I like more than anything as a teacher is being respected and being asked my professional opinion. 鈥淲hat do you think?鈥� That鈥檚 a conversation that would be great. I don鈥檛 see it taking place, but I think if you really want teachers to stay, you ask them, 鈥淲hat can I do to keep you?鈥�
